This article is part of a running series with Rowan University’s Wellness Center. This collaboration aims to educate students about personal well-being options. For further updates, follow @rowanuwellness on social.
Socializing with others can come very easily to some people, while to others it is a lot more difficult when considering self-confidence, outgoingness, etc. When you add in social anxiety, it becomes tougher to engage with the people around you even if you want to. The extreme fear of social interactions is a huge barrier and strain on the formation of connections, friendships and other relationships. Though it can be hard to manage, it is not impossible and one can still make friends and build relationships with social anxiety.
One of the main ways to manage social anxiety is to challenge those negative thoughts (Smith & Segal, 2019). That can look different to every person depending on their negative thoughts and feelings but reframing them is a good way to move past situations. One can first assess what is making them anxious and the thoughts they are having in relation to speaking to someone, presenting in front of others, and other situations. After determining where the feelings stem from, challenge those same thoughts to doubt them because it is just anxiety. For example, a student could be very worried about presenting in front of others, especially their classmates, because of the fear of flailing, stuttering, and so on but none of those are definitive and that is where reframing is a great tool to employ.
Another important skill is to focus on the moment at hand and not its outcomes or the thoughts of others (Smith & Segal, 2019). It is easier said than done as with many other situations, but focusing on making sure that you stay in the present is crucial. When you focus only on the present moment, you are moving with the social interaction and not worrying about the what, ifs, and buts related to them. A part of that comes from not giving power to what others may think of you or how you may mess up and just accepting the experiences and exchanges as they come. Breathing techniques are also beneficial to let your brain and body slow down in instances that are anxiety-inducing.
Interacting with others is an important part of life that can be stressful if you suffer from anxiety. It adds the component of fear and doubt into the mix which triggers that anxiety, but it can be managed in the moment. Determining what the negative thoughts and feelings are can be used to then question and reframe them and rationalize the fears; this could be speaking to people, presenting, asking questions, etc. Focusing on the moment through breathing techniques and pushing away thoughts of potential unfavorable outcomes are good ways to control social anxiety and continue to push through and have those experiences.
Source:
Smith, Melinda, and Jeanne Segal. “HelpGuide.org.” HelpGuide.org, 3 June 2019, www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder.htm
Written by: Estrella Delgado
Edited by: Jordyn Dauter, junior double major in dance & elementary education